John Lazarus

Schoolyard Games

Requirements & Synopsis

3 F, one setting. Binnie and Eleanor are sisters, and Susan their best friend. Eleanor is a serious gymnast, getting frustrated by younger sister Binnie’s interruptions and generally silly playfulness. Susan tries to intervene, but her efforts are rewarded with anger, and their interactions lead to physical fighting. A play about loyalty, friendship, and the law of the jungle gym.

Critical Responses

“An utterly charming, frequently funny, and more-than-momentarily moving little essay on what [Lazarus] chooses to call ‘the law of the jungle gym’… Definitely and righteously appeals to a young audience.”

– Wayne Edmonstone, Vancouver Sun, February, 1981 

“Well observed and amusingly articulated… This is children’s theatre at its best.”

– Peter Elliott Weiss, CHQM Radio, February, 1981 

Excerpt

ELEANOR has the privilege of going off to watch the provincial high-school gymnastics tournament. She rejects SUSAN’s pleas to get adult permission for SUSAN to come too. She exits, leaving the disappointed SUSAN with ELEANOR’s younger sister BINNIE.

BINNIE: Hey, you know what to do to her?

SUSAN: What?

BINNIE: Don’t give her any of your puppies!

SUSAN: We weren’t gonna anyway.

BINNIE: Give me two of the puppies, and don’t give her any!

SUSAN: Binnie look I have to check with my father who we give them to, okay?

BINNIE: Okay well tell him to let me have two. That way I’ll be able to cuddle one in each arm and she won’t have any and she’ll cry and cry…

(BINNIE imitates ELEANOR, sobbing at SUSAN’s feet.)

SUSAN (reluctantly amused): Knock it off!

BINNIE: That way you can get back at her!

SUSAN: Terrific!

(Pause. Things are cheering up slightly.)

BINNIE: how old are they now?

SUSAN: The puppies? Well, how old were they yesterday?

BINNIE: Eight days.

SUSAN: So how old are they today?

BINNIE: Nine days, you don’t have to treat me like I’m a dummy, you know.

SUSAN: I know, sorry.

BINNIE: Just ‘cause Eleanor does!

SUSAN (laughs with her): I know!

BINNIE: Are they still as cute? The puppies?

SUSAN: Yeah.

BINNIE: How’s the tiny little white one?

SUSAN: ‘Kay.

BINNIE: I think you should call her Snowy. They got their eyes open yet?

SUSAN: No, not till tomorrow prob’ly.

BINNIE: I bet they’re so cute.

SUSAN: Yeah, but they don’t even look like dogs yet. ‘Cause their eyes are all closed. They look like fat little rats or something.

BINNIE: Like this? (Does imitation.)

SUSAN (amused): Kind of. All they do is suck milk out of Muffin. Muffin’t the mommy dog.

BINNIE: I know Muffin.

SUSAN: Oh yeah.

BINNIE: So, uh, how long do they have to wait till their eyes are open?

SUSAN: Ten days. They’re deaf too, when they’re born, you know.

BINNIE: Deaf too? Blind and deaf? The poor things.

SUSAN: Yeah – but it must be neat to be a little puppy dog and to open your eyes for the very first time. Can you imagine? If you didn’t know you were blind (puts her hands over BINNIE’s eyes) – and deaf (covers BINNIE’s ears) – and all of a sudden you started to see (uncovers eyes) – and hear (uncovers ears) – it’d be so excellent, eh?

BINNIE (gazing about on a new world): Yeahh. Ooh.

(Silence.)

SUSAN: You know what? I wasn’t gonna tell you.

BINNIE: What?

SUSAN: Well, the tiny little white one?

BINNIE: Snowy? That’s the one I want.

SUSAN: Well – like, every litter of puppies, there’s one called the runt. ‘Cause it’s the littlest and weakest. Well, in these puppies, Snowy’s the runt. She can’t hardly get at Muffin’s milk. The others just push her out of the way ‘cause she’s so little.

BINNIE: That’s mean.

SUSAN: Yeah, but they don’t even know they’re doing it. They just want theirs, that’s all. (Pause.) The ting is – like – she might die.

(Pause.)

BINNIE: Die?

SUSAN: Yeah. The others are all healthy, though. They’ll be fine.

BINNIE: Yeah – but Snowy was the –

SUSAN (gently): Binnie, you haven’t even seen her.

BINNIE: I know.

SUSAN: Daddy says that’s the way it works sometimes. The big ones are the ones that get everything.

BINNIE: Yeah – all the big brothers and sisters.

SUSAN: He says it’s the law of the jungle.

BINNIE: Law of the jungle? That’s the law around here. That’s the law of the jungle gym.

SUSAN: You wanna skip? Let’s skip, okay?

BINNIE: Okay.

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: Snowy lives, as will be seen in the next excerpt.)